Parenting Tips: You’ve probably seen the scene at the register: a three-year-old youngster who wants something, like a toy or sweets, and they want it fast! The crying begins, building to a full-fledged meltdown.
Laurence Steinberg, PhD, offers recommendations in his latest book, The Ten Basic Principles of Good Parenting, which draws from the best social science research spanning almost 75 years of investigations. He says that if you follow them, you can prevent a variety of behavioural issues with your kids.
What is the objective, after all, while working with kids? To establish authority? to engender terror? Or to assist the child in becoming a respectable, self-assured adult?
According to Steinberg, good parenting promotes kindness, cooperation, self-control, honesty, self-reliance, empathy, and joy. Additionally, it fosters drive, ambition, and an inquisitive mind. It helps shield kids from eating disorders, anxiety, despair, antisocial behavior, and alcohol and drug abuse.
A famous psychology professor at Temple University in Philadelphia, Steinberg, claims that “parenting is one of the most researched areas in the entire field of social science.” According to him, the scientific data supporting the ideas he presents “is very, very consistent,” he says.
Far too many parents act based only on their instincts. However, Steinberg notes that some parents have stronger intuition than others. He says that children should never be spanked, not even with a slap on the bottom for a toddler. “If your young child is headed into danger, into traffic, you can grab him and hold him, but you should under no circumstances hit him.”
According to Natale, a parent’s relationship with their child will show in the latter’s activities, especially behavioral issues. “Your child won’t listen to you if you don’t have a solid relationship with them. Consider your interactions with other adults. You are more likely to trust them, listen to their thoughts, and agree with them if you get along well with them. We’ll disregard someone’s views if we simply don’t like them.”
According to Steinberg, everybody who works with children—coach, teacher, or babysitter—should adhere to his ten principles.
The 10 Principles of Good Parenting
- Your actions have an impact: According to Steinberg, “This is one of the most important principles,”. “Your actions have an impact. Your children are observing you. Don’t just respond without thinking. Consider the following: “What do I want to achieve, and is this likely to lead to that outcome?”
- One can never love too much: “It is simply not possible to spoil a child with love,” he states. “A child never experiences too much love—what we generally associate with child abuse—as the outcome. It is typically the result of providing a youngster with material goods, leniency, or lessened expectations in lieu of love.”
- Participate in your child’s education: “Being an involved parent requires hard work and patience and frequently involves reevaluating and realigning your priorities. Often, it involves putting your wants for your child’s needs ahead of your own. Be present both physically and psychologically.”
- To fit your child, modify your parenting style: Follow your child’s developmental trajectory. Your kid is maturing. Think about how the child’s age is influencing their behavior.
- Make and enforce rules: “If you don’t discipline your child when he’s small, it will be difficult for him to develop self-control when he becomes older and you’re not there. These three inquiries should always be within your reach: Where is my child? At any time of day or night. With whom is my child? What is my kid up to? Your child’s self-regulation will be influenced by the rules he has internalized from you.”
- Encourage your child’s self-reliance: Establishing boundaries aids in your child’s self-control development. Promoting independence aids in her feeling of self-direction development. She is going to require both in order to succeed in life.”
- Maintain consistency: You are the one responsible for your child’s misbehavior, not him, if your rules are inconsistent or only sometimes enforced. Consistency is your most valuable disciplinary instrument. Decide what you cannot compromise on. Your youngster will question authority less if it is founded more in intelligence than in force.”
- Steer clear of severe punishment: In all cases, parents should never strike a child. “Children who are spanked, hit, or slapped are more prone to fighting with other children,” he states. “They are more likely to be bullies and more likely to use aggression to solve disputes with others.”
- Justify your choices and regulations: “Good parents have expectations they want their child to live up to,” he states. Parents typically give teenagers too few explanations and too many explanations to young children. Something that seems clear to you might not make sense to a 12-year-old. His priorities, sense of judgment, and experience are different from yours.”
- Show respect to your youngster: “The best way to get respectful treatment from your child is to treat him respectfully,” writes Steinberg. “You ought to treat your child with the same decency that you do everyone else. Talk to him civilly. Honor his viewpoint. While he is speaking to you, pay attention. Be kind to him when you can, and try to win his approval. Kids behave towards others in the same manner as their parents do. Your bond with your child serves as the basis for her interactions with other people.”
Final Words
Good discipline techniques can be found in your child’s pediatrician, family, friends, and family counselors. Knowing which ones are most likely to work with your children might be challenging, though. Try these parenting strategies that have been tried and tested by experts in the discipline.
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